The concept of self is something that we all acquire throughout our lives, stemming from our early childhood years. Understanding oneself is terribly difficult, that is why our parents must coach us along the way to reaching self-fulfillment. Infancy/toddlerhood is the beginning of our self-awareness and self-understanding. As we age to middle childhood and adolescent years, our ability to assess ourselves begins to become stronger and stronger. However, the awkwardness of our limbs as they grow begins to become harder to judge and depth perception’s fault at times. Teaching our children about the growth of our bodies, and the changes we all experience, can enhance their ability to reach self-understanding a lot quicker.
Self-understanding in infancy/toddlerhood starts as early as just a few months with their ability to see of course. They can determine what their legs look like from their own perspective, while also being able to study their legs from another camera perspective. Seeing themselves in the mirror can show proof of their self-understanding and self-awareness as well. An example of self-control is their ability to know the difference between kicking their legs to the left or the right, which rolls the ball towards or away from them. According to Berk (2020), an infant can access different means of awareness when exposed to separate stimuli that has the potential of rewarding them with what they want (p. 272). As they age, they can begin to make scale errors, where their depth perception isn’t aligned with their arm length or leg length. Parents can help with this by doing exercises of depth perception with their child or allowing them to observe themselves in the mirror.
Early childhood is when scale errors begin to become less prevalent. We tend to grow fast in this time of our lives, but so does our self-awareness, self-understanding, and self-concept begins to develop. According to Berk (2020), self-concept is the definition of oneself, such as attributes, values, abilities, and attitudes that we begin to find what makes us stand out from other people (p. 355). This is when we begin to take the initiative on certain tasks and interest in figuring out what we can do alone, or with assistance from our parents. An example of this is picking and choosing their own clothes or stating that they are able to wash their own hair since they are bigger now. As they age and learn new things, that is just one more thing they don’t need their parents for. Independence becomes a huge aspect at this point and their self-esteem begins to strengthen. Parents can help by allowing them to explore new items of clothing or playing with the other children nearby.
Middle childhood years are the years that self-concept and self-esteem characteristics begin to show through even more. According to Berk (2020), social comparisons begin to happen, where they judge themselves or others over appearance, physical abilities, and behaviors among others. Our sense of self begins to be compared to other school aged children through those different social comparisons. An example would be comparing ones-self to how well they can juggle a soccer ball during the physical education class. Self-esteem can begin being targeted at this age with peer motivation and other social constructs. Now days it can be even harder as we age from middle childhood to early adolescent, since there are so many social medias and false portrayals of what “famous” people look like. An example can be a child losing or gaining self esteem through their physical abilities or physical looks. Parents can help with this by explaining that we are who we are, and that comparing or judging others is a taboo ordeal.
Finally, the years all parents are afraid to face, self-understanding for their child in adolescent years. Later on in these years, their ego’s become some of their most driven understandings of themselves, which can be a bad thing. According to Berk (2020), adolescents, otherwise known as teens, begin to realize the significance of their choices of values, ethics, and moral beliefs that will shape them into young adults (p.593). An example of self-concept would be their decision to perform well in school so that they can get into a great college after high school. While an example of self-esteem would be placing more balance on their social views on the world, whether they feel like a good person or are conscientious of their day to day actions. If they feel like they may be rude, then they can’t do something to change that, they just continue to be rude. While on the other side, they may realize they are rude, and work more introspective to change it for the better. Parents can assist in this aspect of their child’s lives by allowing them to explore the things they love to do, instead of forcing them to do certain things. When a teen finds something they love to do, they find an anchor, and a teen with a good anchor can build a solid foundation going into adulthood.
In conclusion, self-understanding, self-concept, self-awareness, and self-esteem all work hand in hand from infancy/toddlerhood years, all the way up to late adolescent years. Of course, they all must develop, just like we must develop physically throughout the years. Furthermore, if we as parents can find ways to coach them along the way, while still allowing them to find what interests them the most, then we can have a great foundation built for our children when they go off on their own. Giving them the fundamentals and the outlook of an adult, without forcing it down their throats may seem hard, but it is one of the most crucial aspects of life.
-Cyral I Callender III
References
Berk, L. E. (2020). Infants, Children, and Adolescents (9th Edition). Pearson Education (US). https://purdueuniversityglobal.vitalsource.com/books/9780135494271
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